With the Republican convention in NYC coming up in August, the smell of money is beginning to perfume the air. According to the city’s official tourism website, the convention “is expected to generate over $250 million in economic activity and put New York City firmly at the center of the world’s stage.” I believe they’re being too modest.

Agencies are flying in extra call girls from around the globe to meet the expected demand during the Aug. 30-Sept. 2 gathering at Madison Square Garden.

"We have girls from London, Seattle, California, all coming in for that week," said a madam at a Manhattan escort service. "It's the week everyone wants to work."

Previous Republican conventions have been a vital windfall for the sex-worker industry.

At the 1996 Republican convention in San Diego, an escort service in search of delegate dollars changed its name to GOP: Good Old-Fashioned Pleasure.

Of course, in keeping with Republican values, opportunities will only be afforded to “upscale” workers making $500 an hour or more.

"I get depressed whenever there's a big political convention because I know the street girls are going to be hassled, arrested and treated like criminals," Quan [author of Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl] said. "All in the name of 'cleaning up' our city for these people from out of town."

Many of you will be familiar with the attempt last November by Tom Delay, Republican majority leader in the House, to set up a yacht at the convention that would have benefited his charity Celebrations for Children, Inc. Unfortunately for the little tykes, Delay had to call off the plan, supposedly in the face of charges that he was trying to skirt the campaign finance laws.

But I have it on good authority that the real reason the plan was abandoned was the logistical problems that the yacht would have presented the prostitutes and their would-be clients. Many of the girls said they couldn’t swim. When a modest boat was offered, they huffed that a dinghy was beneath their dignity. Delay felt that a helicopter was out of the question, since that would be the only way his conventioneers could get off the ship, once the protests got going.

The convention schedule, released yesterday, carefully takes into account the needs of the Republican conventioneers, who are known for their devotion to church and family. Arriving on Monday, they will be released the following Saturday, which will allow time to make it back home for Confession (if need be) and Sunday services.