The Republican Party appears to be running the most extensive ongoing criminal enterprise since the days of the Gambino family. In fact, by comparison the Mafiosi were rather unimaginative.

I mean, what did the Mafia really do? They had their prostitution, gambling and protection rackets. Loan-sharking was a sideline. The corporate shakedown via control over the Teamsters and Longshoremen was always reliable. Later on some families got into the drug trade, though the "old school" considered it too dirty.

But the opportunities in conventional crime are not what they used to be. State governments and local police have taken over most of the traditional criminal trades.

Fortunately the Republicans think big, and they're not bothered by the squeamishness that afflicted the Mafia. I've scratched my head many times over where they draw the line, but if there is a line, it must lie just beyond the horizon of their next criminal activity.

Think about it. Suitcases of government cash in the millions doled out willy-nilly in Iraq with the only stipulation being that a percentage of it be returned to Republican coffers through campaign contributions. Want to throw an election? No problem. They'll jam the phone lines, corrupt local officials, whatever it takes. Contracts to benefit everyone in the family? Sure, they just award them without going through that quaint free-market practice known as "competitive bidding."

But those are your bread-and-butter crimes. For many Republicans, crime is not just a vocation, it's also a hobby, a diversion, a release, a je ne sais quoi. These are the sort that run naked in the night and snap pictures of their startled targets; or strangle their mistresses; or find the body of a staff member in their office and then go into media. The possibilities are almost endless.

What got me thinking about all this was the unfortunate indictment of the vice chairman of the Massachusetts Republican Party, Mr. Lawrence Novak, esquire, this past Tuesday. When you understand the silliness of it, you know immediately that this was a man just out on a lark. But foolishness such as this can interfere with the basic criminal activities of the Party and is sure to land Mr. Novak in the Republican doghouse ... or is it outhouse?

According to Denise Lavoie of the AP, Novak ...

was charged Tuesday with money laundering after he allegedly offered to "cleanse" drug proceeds for a legal client.

The client was Scott Holyoke who is up on drug-trafficking charges. Here's how it supposedly went down—

Novak allegedly offered to have Holyoke sign false affidavits in an attempt to invalidate some of his prior state court convictions in order to reduce the sentence he would face in his federal case.

Holyoke told Novak that he had over $100,000 in cash in a safe deposit box, repeatedly telling Novak that the money was drug proceeds, according to an affidavit filed by Lauren Youngquist, a special agent with the criminal investigation unit of the Internal Revenue Service.

Novak allegedly told Holyoke that he would take approximately $60,000 of the money as a legal fee and offered to "clean" or "cleanse" the remainder of the cash, the affidavit said.

According to the arrest affidavit, after Novak made the offer to launder Holyoke's drug proceeds, the IRS and FBI introduced an undercover IRS special agent who posed as Holyoke's aunt.

On Tuesday, the agent gave Novak approximately $107,000 in cash and told Novak it was drug proceeds. Novak then took the money to Eastern Bank in Brockton, where he purchased three bank checks in the amount of $9,000 and three $1,000 money orders.

He deposited $77,000 into an existing account at the bank, according to the arrest affidavit.

Novak then returned to his home and office, where he was arrested.

A bank employee told the IRS special agent that when Novak deposited the cash and purchased the bank checks, he said he had found the money.

Naturally, Massachusetts Republicans, from Governor Mitt Romney on down, are "troubled" and feel that Mr. Novak should step down from his vice position until something can be done to get him off. There's no sense having him drag the rest of the party down with him.

I hope Mr. Novak can find a good defense attorney. So many top firms are tied up in the State of Ohio that a scandal in Massachusetts may just be more than the market can bear.

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