A high-quality chocolate, when you put it in your mouth, it melts and becomes very silky. With hydrogenated oils, it feels kind of waxy or greasy. —Julie Anderson, daily chocolate eater, quoted by Adam Satariano in "Hershey Battles Chocolate Connoisseurs Over Selling ‘Mockolate’"

The chocolate multinationals, in the face of rising cocoa prices, have a solution: redefine the meaning of "chocolate"—

The Chocolate Manufacturers Association, whose members include Hershey, Nestle SA and Archer Daniels Midland Co., has a petition before the Food and Drug Administration to redefine what constitutes chocolate. They want to make it without the required ingredients of cocoa butter and cocoa solids, using instead artificial sweeteners, milk substitutes and vegetable fats such as hydrogenated and trans fats.

But it isn't just the chocolate makers hoping to benefit—

The chocolate association signed the petition submitted to the FDA in October to change the candy.

The proposal was drafted by the Grocery Manufacturers Association and Food Products Association urging the FDA to "modernize food standards." In addition to the chocolate manufacturers, the petition was signed by groups representing almost every part of the food chain, including the meat, dairy, fruit, fish and grain industries.

That is guaranteed to open the door to all sorts of mischief.

The Breyers sell out

And speaking of mischief, Breyers "All Natural" Ice Cream snuck in some "tara gum" about six months ago. I'll never forget the night a friend brought over a carton of "extra creamy" vanilla. I knew something was wrong from the first bite. And instead of refilling my bowl till the last fat globule had melted, I did as "Miss Manners" would have me do and politely declined seconds.

It's true that tara gum is natural—along with insect parts, but I don't want them in my ice cream.

"A Daily Scoop" is on the case. A protest against the ruination of ice cream is long overdue. It could be modeled after the successful Coca-Cola protest of 1985 when the company tried to change the flavor of Coke.

Ah, but that was 1985. Now the most corrupt government in the history of the republic is in power, and the people are close to helpless. Ice cream protest? What was I thinking?!

Tags: * chocolate Hershey mockolate Grocery Manufacturers Association Food Products Association Breyers ice cream tara gum protest boycott